New Moon Altered
by TWI-HP87
Summary: This is a different take of the whole break up scene in New Moon.
1. Chapter 1

It begins with the break up scene in New Moon and from there I changed it up.

Chapter 1

"Just for the record: You still mean everything to me"

**"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.**

**There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.**

**"You… don't… want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.**

**"No."**

**I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz—hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken.**

**"Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded. It must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realize what he was telling me. It still didn't make any sense.**

**He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… **_**tired **_**of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were **_**not **_**human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."**

**"Don't." My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."**

**He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had.**

**"You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his earlier words around, and so I had no argument. How well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him.**

"Why didn't you just kill me?" I Whispered.

He froze for what seemed like eternity, as I stared unwavering into his beautiful eyes. I could feel the tears dripping from my chin. My world was fallen apart, this was worst then any physical damage.

"What?" he finally replied. "I wish you would have killed me the first day. If I wasn't good enough for you, why did you make me fall in love with you? How could you be so cruel?" The word vomit came out of my mouth, but for the first time I didn't care. I felt the pain that was clawing at me, it was making both brave and dizzy. I started to sway I saw myself in slow motion getting closer to the ground, but before I reached it Edward had his arm around my waist holding me up against his chest.

"I love you so much. Why don't you love me? Did you ever love me? Was any of this real?" By now I was hysterical. I was grabbing on to the front of his shirt, I needed answers, I needed to know something was real between us. I was willing to give up everything for this man, right now its my pride.

He put his hand under my chin so I can look him straight into his eyes. His index finger began to wipe my tears, he closed his eyes but he looked as if he was struggling to keep his ground.

His mouth would open and close. He had no excuse. Nothing was real. "Bella, Bella, BELLA," I was shaking so hard it seemed as if the earth was shaking, but it was just me. It was just my world crumbling around me. How can the trees still be standing and the birds flying in the sky while my world was falling apart. How can anyone compare emotional pain to physical pain? All the sudden it all went black.

...

I woke up screaming but I wasn't waking up. I was having a nightmare within a nightmare, It kept playing on repeat _You're not good for me._

I could hear someone murmuring and cooing in my ear telling me to wake up.

It was Edward, he was probably feeling guilty as he always does. I opened my eyes and the first thing I see is Edward's topaz eyes, the man I deemed my world. I felt my eyes get blurry with my tears. I was lying down on a bed made of blankets in front of the fire place in the Cullen house. _The Cullens_ I had believed they were my family, they didn't even say goodbye to me. Even Alice left, but I didn't want Edward's pity.

I turned my body away from him, as I was turning I caught the look of surprise etched on his face. I caught sight of my shoes next to the couch, it was covered by white sheets. Everything was. It was a reminder that he was leaving, but probably just tending to the weak human before he left.

He didn't need feel guilty anymore; I would not burden him anymore. He never answered my questions, maybe it was better that I never know. "What are you doing?" he asked. "I'm leaving, you don't have to pretend no more. I guess this is goodbye." He sat there staring at me like he was seeing things in perspective, as if he had finally put the last peace of the puzzle together, but the most dominant look on his face was pain.

I don't know why I asked, but I was selfish enough to ask even if I knew he didn't love me at this point, "Edward?" "Yes" he choked out. "Could I have one thing? Please." He looked wary, "depends on what you want" "can you kiss one last time," I don't know where the bravery came from but I will never see him again. I was barely holding myself together. He walked towards me placed his hand around my neck, it felt so sensual and natural like we've been doing this for years. If this weren't Edward breaking my heart, an outsider would think this was a scene out of a romance movie. He placed a finger under my jaw tipping my face so he had the best access to my mouth. He leaned in taking my bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on it, while I did the same to his top lip. He let out a loud a groan as I grabbed on to his hair harder then I had ever done in the past. I was about to lick his lips when he went for my top lip sucking on my tongue instead. He groaned even loader then before, he seemed to have lost control because all of the sudden I found my self on my back with him on top. His eyes looked glazed over with his body situated between my legs and his arms bent on either side of my head. It took me a couple seconds to realize we were on the bed of blankets he must have made when I had fainted.

His tongue was in my mouth, I tried to put up a fight and dominate but he completely dominated my mouth and my body. We had never done anything like this before; I can't believe his kisses could get any better, but they did. He tasted so good. He was possessing me with his mouth and his large hands. I felt so tiny in his arms; he was so powerful and I had giving him too much power over me.

His hands were everywhere, without thinking in my frenzy I thrusted my body into his. He growled so loud that had I not seen it coming out of his mouth I would have thought a lion was in the room. His eyes rolled back, his hand slid down my body grabbed my ankle and rapped one of my legs around his waist. His hand continued until he reached my rear he squeezed my butt and pushed me into him. I let out a loud moan, and he groaned. "Oh god Bella you feel so fucking good," I froze I couldn't believe those words came out his mouth. I felt my panties getting soaked and his nostrils inhaled like he could smell my arousal. We both started thrusting into each other in a frenzied movement, "I love you, I love you, I'll always love you, Bella. Your so fucking beautiful," We were both panting so load and I was moaning like a seasoned porn star. Edward seemed to love me panting his name, and pant his name I did like he was a prayer. "Don't Edwwwarrd…Pleeeaase." We couldn't for the life of us stop because we were both close to something that we had never experienced before. He stared at me with his eyes penetrating me to the core, I was laid bare for him to see, I was at his mercy. He alone had the ability to destroy me. He was about to reply but I didn't want him to say anything that he wouldn't follow through with or worst feel obliged to do so because of guilt. So I kissed him with everything I had, my lower body was off the bed as he was thrusting into me now. I could feel how large he was, through both of our jeans I could feel his humongous cock. I was in a state of ecstasy, I never wanted this to stop; I wanted to get closer to him without any restrictions and without any cloth. His eyes were the same color as the first day in biology class. The color didn't frighten me it only caused my stomach to get tighter, I cool feel the sheen of sweat from the work out I was getting.

All the sudden I felt pleasure burst through every vein in my body, Edward threw his head back and let out a growl that could be heard for miles. We were both shaking from the pleasure we just experienced. Still rocking against each other coming down from our highs when he said, "you'll be the death of me." I couldn't answer him, I was tired both physically and mentally; so I fell asleep in his arms. I felt him kissing my forehead, my cheeks, and finally my mouth. I could swear I heard him say, "I love you" over and over, he sounded so anguished

I wondered if he would be there when I woke up and if he wasn't I wished to remain blissfully asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Surprises

I woke up disoriented, the sun was making a rare appearance, but that's not what caught my attention. I was alone, "Edward, Edward," if he was in the house I knew he would hear me. No reply, Is he gone? I got up on shaky legs, I looked down at myself and realized my shirt was gone. I looked around and saw that it was ripped to shreds; I remember hearing something tear last night but I was too consumed to notice when my attention is other wise occupied. I saw a black blouse and a jeans skirt laid for me on the side so I went to the down stairs bathroom washed up, and put the cloth on.

I was climbing the steps to his room but when I finally reached it everything was in boxes. His journals were gone and the things that were of importance. I caught sight of the frame that had contained a picture of Edward and I; it was empty. I felt as if I was falling apart so I put my arms around myself hoping I could keep myself stitched together.

I want over to his couch and laid in a fetal position I could still smell his natural scent all over it. I wanted to soak it all up before its too late, before its gone like he was.

…

What felt like hours later I could hear the phone ringing but I didn't have it in me to get up. So I remained lying on the couch listening to the sound of the phone ringing every time it stopped, it would start again. I looked up at the clock and noticed it had been ringing for almost an hour. I had been lying there all day falling in and out of consciousness. I wondered why the phone was still in service.

All the sudden I felt the hairs in the back of my neck stand up, I was being watched. My instincts were on alert something dangerous was close, but I welcomed it at the moment. I heard the phone being roughly unplugged and seemed as if the person must have crushed it. Before I even lifted my head right there before my eyes stood Laurent. He was a couple of feet away looking at me oddly, but prominent one I felt like a giant stake.

I did not understand what he was doing here, but I had a bad feeling about his sudden visit. From what I heard last he was staying with Denali's and he was giving the "vegetarian" lifestyle a chance, but I can see clearly that his eyes were a frightening dark crimson. It made my heart beat faster "I had heard that the Cullens were moving on, but I thought Edward would take his pet. You must not be as important as Victoria presumed you to be, where is young Edward?" he asked. "He left," I knew the moment I spoke those words that it was the wrong thing to say, but I didn't have it in me to care. I knew I couldn't escape him, and to try to put up a fight was out of the question.

I was alone and Edward was not here to save me no more.

"Victoria? Are you not staying with the Denali's?" "Yes I am, but I must say following their diet has been very difficult for me. You understand. " I didn't answer I simply stayed quiet, but what surprised me was my demeanor. Through all the pain I was speaking to him as if he was an old college friend,

"I am feeling merciful, and you smell amazing. If only you knew what Victoria has in store for you, but I will make it very quick." He looked at me like the way Charlie would look at a giant steak. "Its nothing personal, I could smell your fear. I'm doing you a favor by making quick. I'm still curious why he was enamored or should I say entertained by you." I felt even more pain from his words. I started to laugh hysterically, he tilted his head to the side looking at me strangely. Maybe I had finally lost it. Now I was sitting on the couch with my arms rapped around myself and Laurent stood a couple of feet watching me curiously. When the high from the adrenaline rush was over I had nothing to really say, so I just stood there looking at him. With his long dreadlocks, dark crimson eyes, and his dark skin. Laurent was somewhat handsome, and if what he said is true maybe him killing me would be easier then Victoria. I wished I could have said goodbye to Renee and Charlie, but how do you say goodbye. Maybe this was better.

Suddenly he grabbed my arm lifting me off the couch his nose ran through the contours of my neck, "you really do smell delicious." He barred his teeth, when a loud growl shook the room. I had never heard anything so scary in my life, I looked to the side Edward was croached like an animal. I had never seen Edward like this, even the first day we met when he was consumed with his blood lust. He was both terrifying and beautiful.

"Let. Her. Go." He said each word with so menacingly that I actually feared for Laurent.

"Young Edward I was just being merciful to your beautiful pet before Victoria gets her. Victoria seemed to be under the assumption that you would never leave your pets' side, but as your pet has already informed me you had left. Did you want to save her for yourself?" That made Edward if possible growl even louder.

I guess Alice must have called him, and Edward being Edward must have felt guilty. In that moment while I was in Laurent arms across the room from Edward, I wanted to think of something good. So all I had to do was recall the summer that just passed, it was the greatest summer of my life. Edward had made me feel like a queen and I just don't know how everything could have been a lie. Was I just a pet? I couldn't help the tears that came down my eyes. I looked up to Edward, and he looked terrifyingly beautiful but his eyes looked dead. As if someone had suck the life from him.

I felt so foolish because all I wanted to do was comfort him like the dumb pet that I was. I don't know what Edward saw in my face because he looked concerned, "Bella" he said my name worriedly; but I looked away from him feeling anger for the first time towards him. How dare he look at me like he cares. I didn't miss the look of shock on his face. I let myself feel anger for the first time, and I was afraid of him for the first time. Maybe its the fact that I was feeling this deep crumbling pain because of him, and he's hurt me in worst possible way.

"Why don't we see what your little human pet chooses?" Laurent suggested. Edward's growl became more fierce and he seemed afraid of what I would choose. Before yesterday afternoon this would not have been a choice because I had trusted him and I had him in such a high pedestal. Maybe that was the problem.

If I choose not to go to Edward, what's the worst Laurent would do? Kill me, but he had promised it would be quick. With Edward what he would do will be slow torture. I remember Alice had told me that I was his mate. How could I be his mate? I can't imagine Emmet leaving Rosalie, or Jasper leaving Alice.

"Bella, please come to me," he was pleading he looked desperate, but I shook my head. "Please" I shook my head again, I had yet to retain the ability to speak. "I lied, I was just trying to protect you from what I was. I wanted you to have a normal life. All I ever did was put you in danger." He was trying to coax me. A part of me didn't believe him, and another was angry because if he was telling the truth he made the choice for me. Was I not an active partner in the relationship? Who was he to make a choice for me. He took a step forward and I took a step back making m back hit Laurent's' chest. "I think she made her choice," Laurent concluded. Edward pounced too fast for me conceive, and I found my self on the couch. The whole glass wall shattered, and they were both gone. I feared Edward would get hurt. I could not see anything but I heard was sounded like two object clashing like thunder." Moments later I saw what looked like smoke.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Edward was by my side seconds later once the relief I felt that he was ok. The anger returned and it was strong. I guess the person you love most in the world is only person that can make you feel the strongest emotions. Right now I was livid. I didn't know I had it in me to feel such anger, but I had given free rein to run this relationship. Time and time again he's treated me as a young girl who is in capable of making choices for herself. From my humanity to the physical aspect of our relationship, Edward was the warden. It wasn't his fault I did not put my foot down, I want along with everything because I knew he loved me. That was not a factor any longer, for me he was everything. I felt as if I could feel him run through my vains, his very touch ignited an electric shock that makes me feel alive. I loved him, and I loved being around him. Yet our relation was not balanced, I am the human and he's is the vampire. I might physically be weaker then him, but intellectually we were compatible. From our likes to our dislikes we had balanced each other.

I did not want to look at him. I could not stand the sight of him now that he was no longer mine. The pain I felt was unbearable.

"Can I get a ride home?" I asked without looking at him. "Bella we nee-" "I want to go home." I said with a raised voice. I didn't turn look at Edward, he must be baffled for I never raised my voice at him. Again I didn't have it in me to care, I wasn't just some stupid teenage girl.

I started walking down the stairs going straight to the garage, he was there to open the door to his Aston Martin. I realized again the reality of our situation , his Volvo was not there. I had waked up today to find him gone, the only thing bringing him back was his guilty conscious or was it pity to save the weak human. Even after what we shared last night, did he feel nothing? Did he not feel the fire that consumed my body from his touch? Did he not feel the pleasure that I felt? My body seemed to recognize him as its counterpart, and he seemed to have been feeling and reacting the same. He called me beautiful and professed his love for me just so I could wake up alone.

If what he said was true that he lied and that he wanted to protect me. Is that better? Is it better that even his love for me was not strong enough to keep him with me?

I could smell him from where I was sitting in the passenger seat. My body and soul seemed to rejoice from his close proximity. I looked out the window the fear that I might not see him again was creeping up. I felt deep fear that shook me to the core. Is this the last time I wills see him? Oh god, I wanted to beg to him to stay, but if I truly loved him I had to let him be happy. Maybe he'll find an equally beautiful vampire that when they stood side by side no one will question 'what is he doing with her.'" So lost inmy thought that I didn't realize my vision was non existent from all the tears. "Bella h-" "don't touch me" I told him in a stern voice through all the tears, his hand stopped mid air. While I cowarded away from his touch before he can say anything we had arrived in front of my house. I ran out of the car before it even stopped, closing the door behind me.

I ran all the way to my room and locked the retched window also making sure the curtains covered it. It was already dark out, I hadn't ate anything all day. I knew I couldn't digest anything right

I wanted to listen to the CD he had made me for my birthday, but when I looked in the CD player it was not there. Had he taking it? I looked for my gifts they had giving me for my birthday, but they were all gone. Why would he do this? He was erasing himself from my life, he can try to take every material aspect. What he forgot to take were the memories. _Like I never existed _he had said, I ran to my recent photo book every picture with his was gone. We had so much pictures together from the summer and prom. I looked and looked as if trying to find my last life source but I came up empty handed.

I was shaking so hard and I was feeling nautious. I ran to the bathroom and all I could throw up was saliva. I had nothing in me.

….

I waked up to knocking on my bedroom door, "Bella" I heard Charlie he sounded worried. "Yea Dad," my voice cracked. "are you alright honey? I got your letter, Did you and Alice finish packing?" The tears flowed down my check and I was glad that he couldn't see me right now. "Yeah dad" I tried to keep my voice as normal as possible. "Um if you want to talk…" this is out of his element and he was trying.

"Thanks dad" I said.

"goodnight Bells" he said but he could probably tell that I was crying.

"goodnight dad" I replied.

I couldn't really go back to sleep everytime I slipped to the unconscious world I replayed the words he said to me in the woods. He was not my Edward and no matter how much I play it in my head I still could not believe how he had spoke to me. He was so cold. Was it easy for him to regard me in such a harsh way. Yet when I don't go to him after everything he said, he gets hurt. He has the ordasity to act hurt when I tell him to take me home after he had told me that I he did not want to be with me. What about how he hurt me? He was so used to me rolling over.

It took me a couple of hours of hour and frustration before another aspect of reality sunk in. He was gone. Would I ever see him again? Fear infiltrated every vicinity of my being. Oh no I needed to take a deep breath, I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. I was taking deep breaths with my arms around me to to make sure I do not fall apart. I was so stupid I should have begged him to stay. I was being so childish by ignoring him. Even if he had deserved it now I will never get another chance.

….

Sunday I woke up feeling weak and I had nightmares that kept me falling in and out of consciousness. Edward was the main subject of all these nighmares, but it was not the same man I loved. I stayed up for hours yesterday trying to make myself hate him, but as angry as I was _I loved him_. I was made to love that man. With the shades closed I couldn't tell what time it was, I looked at the clock it was already 2 in the afternoon. Suddenly I heard the door bell ring, I could hear Charlie getting off the couch. I just lay there limp my body was dead, but the scary part was I felt dead inside. My dad came up and knocked on the door.

"Bells, Alice is here." I froze, what was she doing here? My anger came alive like a flame. "Tell her I don't want to see her." The words had come out without a conscious choice. So I knew Alice would never had seen the outcome or that this would be my reaction. I had trusted Alice she had told me we were sisters, but in the end it took a word from Edward for her to drop that sisterhood. I would have expected her to give me a warning, she was my best friend for god sakes. I had shut off the whole world and made my world revolve around them. I was so keen on being with Edward forever and my love for him that I had not taking a better look on him not wanting to change me. I wanted to believe that it was about my soul, but it was as evident as breathing **_he didn't give me forever because he didn't want it with me_**. Clear and simple. I didn't know if I still had tears left but they rapidly came down flowing like the river of my pain.

...

**Hey everyone I hope I can get feedback. So far I don't know what anyone thinks of this story. Since I haven't gotten any feedback this is probably the last chapter. **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When Monday came, I got out of bed and took a long shower. I needed the calming affect so I proceeded to shave and for some reason I wanted to look nice. Not for anyone else but for myself. I needed to do something for me. It was a cloudy day but surprisingly warm, I needed to distract myself from this pain that is still coursing through me. This was not a normal heartbreak, after meeting him I couldn't see a future that he was not relevant in. I guess I am my father's daughter. I never understood how he never got over Renee, but now I do. Renee broke his heart, and he loved her. Loved her enough to have full custody of me, and as painful as it was for him he gave her whatever she wanted. Charlie and I have always been more similar then I was with Renee. I love them both, but now I felt a deep understanding with Charlie.

I wore a short Jeans skirt and my favorite blue top with my converse. I had even blow-dried my hair, put on eyeliner, and mascara. When I looked at myself I felt confident and I liked the way I looked. I knew that was the first initiative I needed to take because I started questioning myself yesterday. Was I not good enough? I knew Edward and I were not in the same league, but looking at myself now I felt pretty. Maybe not pretty enough for him, but I was pretty.

I want down I was still early. I heard Charlie inside the bathroom so I decided to make us breakfast. I haven't had a decent meal since before he left. So I made eggs, bacon with toast, and coffee. The only thing keeping me together was that I kept telling myself that Edward was going to be in school. When Charlie entered the kitchen I had just finished setting his meal on the table. I turned around and Charlie was standing assessing me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, just wondering how you are," he looked at me as if not sure if he said the right thing. I looked up and I couldn't help the unshed tears that came to my eyes. Charlie was a good father. So I hugged him it might have disturbed the norm of our relationship but I needed it. The hug was for my pain and the pain that he's faced. He hugged me back for a while.

"I love you Bells. You know that right." He said while patting my back.

"I love you too dad." He coughed awkwardly we sat down to have our breakfast. We didn't really speak, but we didn't need to. We were both happy with the silence. Once I was done with breakfast I got my sweater, book bag, and went to my truck. I felt the pain that was constantly bubbling.

…..

I got out of my truck and went straight to class. Once in my chair I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone and I was too afraid to get lost in my own thoughts. I wanted to keep telling myself that he was coming back that it wasn't over. This couldn't have been the end for us. Maybe he'll miss me and come back. It wasn't forever. When I looked at the chair next me it made me feel dizzy. How am I going to do this? He used to sit next me in every class. I remember as he whispered the lines that Romeo spoke when he caught sight of Juliet. He always made me feel so loved and cherished. He had treated like a flower that was not be touched, but I had wanted his touch to reassure me of his love for me.

The chatter in the class let me know that the class was already nearly full. When I heard someone take his chair my heart nearly stopped. No one was allowed to have his chair; I looked up to tell that person that the chair was taken when my heart nearly stopped. He was here. What was he doing here? He looked so beautiful as if there to taunt me. I tried to keep a stoic face but my body betrayed me calling out to him like a moth to a flame.

All I wanted to do was jump into his arms and profess my love for him over and over again in hopes that he never lets me go.

No I could not do that, I had done that for the last couple of months and the end result was he broke up with me. I just wanted his touch for a moment like a balm to soothe my heartache.

We stared at each other entranced he looked to be holding himself back. I couldn't be sure but I could have sworn his eyes gave me a one over and his eyes got darker. I was first to break eye contact, which was a record, first. I turned back to my book, but looking into his eyes alone had made me feel alive again. What was he doing here? I thought he left. Even if I tried I couldn't control my heart from stuttering and calling out only to him.

Victoria. Of course, how could I forget? Laurent had said Victoria wanted me dead. Even if Edward didn't love me; he would not have my death on his conscious. Edward was a noble man, it was one of the attributes of his character I loved so much. I loved his very soul even if he believed it didn't exist.

We did not speak to each other throughout class but I could feel the intensity of his gaze throughout class. I wish I would wake up from this nightmare that has befallen me these last couple of days. It was just last week that we were so happy.

I was walking to my next class lost in thought. I knew I had almost every class with Edward just his name in my head made me ache. I was walking almost aimlessly when gravity caught up with me; my face was about to get reacquainted with the floor when someone caught me. Not just someone **HIM**.

He had snaked his arm around my waist and lifted me so that we were chest to chest. The electricity flowed through our bodies as if recognizing the missing piece. Oh god it felt so good. NO NO NO I had to be strong so I tried to push him away. When he realized my intention he let go of me. I didn't want him to think I was weak and in need of his assistance. "Thanks" I mumbled and reluctantly without looking at him walked away really fast before he can reply. I could feel his eyes on me scorching my body bring every nerve in my body to life.

I didn't get it. The electricity was still there every time we touched. Doesn't that mean something? He had told he did not love me that I was just a distraction, but when he had wanted me to listen to him he said that he lied. At this point even if he did love me it doesn't change the fact that he still had every intention of leaving me. He would have rather say those cruel words then treat me like his partner and discuss the issue in hand. On top of that he had went into my room stealing everything that would remind me of the time we had shared. He took the last three months worth of memories away from me.

I needed those things; I needed a reminder that what we had was not just manufactured in my mind. I remember the way he would look at me as if I was the most beautiful creature in the world, and tell me that he loved me. If he did love me, did he think this was any way to treat the person that you love?

…

By lunch I was exhausted emotionally. He was in every class with me. As much as I was fighting with myself not to look at him it was better then not having him near me at all. I want to stand on line beside Angela; when she saw me a bright smile plastered on her face.

"Hey Bella" she said. When she got a good look at me her smile disappeared. "Oh no, it cant be true. Did you and Edward really breakup?" she asked both concerned and baffled.

I just nodded. I knew I would break down if I tried to speak. Angela must have realized because she stayed quiet. I got myself a drink because I'm sure I would throw up if I tried to eat right now.

I asked Angela about Ben when he made a sudden appearance. I looked up wanting to see if Edward was in the cafeteria. The moment my eyes looked up his intense gaze bombarded me. The only thing that broke our eye contact was the blonde that sat between him and Alice. She was a vampire and she was drop dead gorgeous. Who was she? I felt as if acid had been spilled destroying me from the inside and the only thing left was the stony stoic look on my face. She kept touching him while trying to get his attention, which seemed preoccupied with watching me. Was he trying to decipher my reaction? Suddenly Mike and his crew came to sit with us. Mike of course took the seat next to me. He was asking why I hadn't made it to work. I told him that I wasn't feeling good. When I said that Jessica, Lauren, and some other girl just looked at each other smirking then preceded to whisper while looking between Edward and me.

"So did Edward dump you for the blonde?" Lauren asked with a fake smile.

I remained unfazed I wanted to laugh because the pain of the whole situation was maddening. I didn't know a person can feel so much pain and still function. For some reason I felt like stone as if nothing anyone says can hurt as much as the pain I already feel. Was he really with her? So I looked at Lauren and shrugged. She looked at me as if trying to see something but I guess for once I gave nothing away.

"She's hot" Tyler mumbled through all the drooling and ogling. Laurens head snapped to the side upon hearing him say that. I wanted to laugh because she was so preoccupied with hurting me she didn't realize her boyfriend or fuck buddy was ogling 'the blonde.' I could see Alice look at me from the corner of my eye. I didn't look at the table again if I had any hopes of holding myself together I needed to occupy myself.

"So you and Edward like broke up?" Jessica asked.

"Yes Jessica we did."I managed to say without any emotion. She tried to look sympathetic but I could see she was happy about the news. I hated the way everyone looked at me sympathetically. I got up heading to class with Angela and Ben, when Mike realized I was leaving he got up to come with us. We all had Calculus.

I had a feeling Mike was going to be following me everywhere. I thought I had made it clear to him over and over again. Mike was about to start talking when a boy in our grade came up to me, "Hi Bella." I said hi back but I didn't know his name. He was a really good-looking kid, but I had heard that he'd been with Lauren, Jessica, and some other girls.

"I'm Josh, I think your really pretty and I was wondering if you were free this weeke-." Before he finished the table that Edward, Alice, and Blondie were sitting on crashed. I didn't get what happened but Alice was talking to Edward. She looked like she was trying to calm him down. Everyone was staring because it looked as if someone took an axe and bashed into the middle of the table.

"CHEAP TABLE" Blondie scoffed. I knew what she was trying to do. I turned to walk to class when Josh stopped me again. "Bella I didn't get to finish my question. So do you want to go out? We could do dinner and a movie." He tried to give me his best seductive look I heard Mike scoff next to me. "I'm sorry Josh I'm not interested" I said and walked away from him and Mike really fast. What's wrong with these people my heart is breaking and their trying to ask me out. It's our first day back separated.

...

**Thank you to the readers who left comments. :) Tell me if you don't like where I'm going with this.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

By the time I got home from work I was exhausted. Mike was following me around even at work, and it got on my last nerves. Edward came to Calculus pretty late and seemed troubled. I wondered if we could try to be friends. Probably not, my heart nearly beats out of my chest when he looks at me. How can I handle talking to him without touching him?

I started making dinner but I could have sworn I was being watched the whole time. I was making lasagna. Charlie should be home any minute. I was putting the Lasagna into the oven when a knock on the back door made me scream. "What's wrong?" Alice was looking me over; "Oh sorry" she looked sheepish seeing what my answer was going to be.

"Bella, can we talk?" She asked pleadingly.

" What you need Alice? I asked.

" I know what your thinking. Today at lunch, that was Tanya Denali; The Denali's are here because Edward killed Laurent. You see Irina is very distraught about Laurent's death; she had gotten really close to him. For Tanya she's always been after Edward, but he's not interested in her. You know he loves you and you both need to talk to each other." She finished.

"He loves me you say" I laughed bitterly, "he wouldn't know what love was if it bit him in the ass. If this is how he treats the person he loves. He tells me that I'm not good enough for him and that he doesn't love me." I started cutting the salad, but I still felt the anger. "I trusted him and I trusted you. You said we were like sister, but you abandoned me when I needed you the most. You tell him that even James never hurt me the way he did. I don't believe he knows what love is, he's an immature seventeen year old. The first sign of trouble instead of talking to me like an adult he bolted. He took the easy way out. I'm too angry and hurt from the both of you. Please leave." I concluded. I could feel the tears coming down face.

"I'm so sorry Bella. Edward thought it was best and I didn't have a choice." She sadly.

"Yes you did." I spoke with a final tone. She did have a choice but she chose to side with Edward. I'm not stupid I understand he's her brother, but it would have been nice to get a heads up. I started chopping the cucumbers without turning around to see if she was still there.

….

"Then Mark got a phone call that some hikers saw bears." Charlie was telling me about his day.

"Bears around Forks?" I asked. It seemed odd.

"No, closer to La Push," he said.

"Did you tell Billy?" I asked.

"Yeah, he didn't seem to worried." I can tell he was worried but he didn't want to worry me. "Just don't be going into those woods, Alright, Bells." I just nodded.

…

Today instead of going to school I faked illness. I know I'm a coward, but yesterday was such a rollercoaster for me that it took all my strength not to break down or just puke. I already took a shower, dressed, and had breakfast. I'm cleaning the house and doing the laundry, which accumulated over the last couple of days.

The house was clean and the last load was already in the dryer. I looked out to the back yard, I decided to go for a walk. I needed to distract myself or I would run to school. I wanted to see him so badly.

I started walking along the trail. I had been walking for about half an hour and I knew he was close. I could feel it. "What do you want Edward?" I tried t feel as much anger as I could instead of the love and yearning that I feel. I needed to make this harder for him to show him that there were consequences for his action. I wasn't always going to bend my back or be the weak one. I was starting to believe that he did love, and that he had lied. It didn't make it right.

He suddenly appeared in front of me. He was so handsome, and I just needed him to hold me so the whole inside can be filled again. "How can you say that I don't love you after all the times I told you I did?" He was getting closer so I started backing up and his gaze was so intense. My back hit a tree, and he continued to come closer until our bodies were flush against each other. I closed my eyes to find some semblance of strength because at the moment I didn't have any.

He leaned down so that our foreheads were touching, "I miss you" he whispered against my lips. By now my breathing was raggedly coming out and my hand bunched his shirt holding myself from falling into the abyss.

Before I could stop myself I backed my head away and slapped him really hard, which only served to cause damage to my hand. I couldn't think about the pain because he was still so close. I didn't know how it was possible to love anyone as much as I loved him.

After I slapped him we both stared at each other shocked. As if that wasn't enough I suddenly grabbed his hair and kissed him. He actually seemed shocked but returned the kiss with vigor. I thought he was going to devour me. He lifted me off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist trying to bring him as close as possible.

My mind was so clouded with lust and need to get closer. I was trying to think straight but my brain failed to cooperate. I took his bottom lip into my mouth and bit on it really hard. He let out a loud noise that sounded like a wounded animal. I wasn't sure if it hurt him or whether he liked it. My pondering was answered when both his hands went to my rear and pulled are pelvises against each other. He continued with his movement as our pelvises rotated and created a wonderful friction between us that seemed to put my body on fire. I opened my eyes, which had shut, and his eyes seemed to be coal black and jaw was slack. The way he looked at me caused the knot in my stomach to get tighter. He looked so sexy in his pleasure. In that moment I had an epiphany _I was the only person to ever bring him this pleasure _since Edward had never been with anyone.

We were both panting at this point his hand continued to massage and grab my rear so that he can get more friction. I wished we didn't have any clothes on; my passion for this man always expunging my reason.

I can still feel him through both of our jeans and I felt how large he was as he continued to rub my intimate part with his. His eyes closed as if this was too much for him to take. We were so lost in our pleasure as our moans and in my case screams were getting louder and louder. I was grabbing on to his hair, clawing at his back, and he seemed to love everything I did. For me I didn't know what he did to me because I didn't seem to have any self control or find the sensible consciousness to mind my actions. I was like an animal following my basic instincts and around Edward I was primitive when it came for my need for him.

His movements were becoming more erratic and he opened his eyes looking at me. I knew he was about to cum. "Bella, Pleease" one of his hands came up and began massaging my breast and my head fell back from the sensory overload. "Edwarrd that feels so good. Oh god I'm soo close." I felt as if I was on the edge of the cliff and I was about to jump. Suddenly he pinched my nipple and I felt the ripple of pleasure course through my body. I screamed his name so loud that it echoed in the forest, and Edward followed suit groaning my name, and letting out an animal growl. It sounded so good hearing my name come out of his mouth like that.

I didn't know if vampires can get tired but Edward suddenly dropped to his knees with me still wrapped around him. He brought my body even closer to his and just held me tightly as I was fleeting particle he was trying to grasp. I had sheen of sweat and both of our breathing hadn't settled yet.

When he finally let go a little so that we can observe each others faces. He looked so sad. Oh, god did he just regret what we just did? I tried to untangle myself from him and he looked alarmed without letting me go. "Isabella, please don't leave me; we need to talk this through." Tears were coming down my eyes and when he saw me cry he looked as if he was crying.

"Please don't cry. I Love you. I know I have no right after what I said, but I was trying to do the right thing. I lied. As if I could exist without loving you. How could you believe me so easily?" he asked as if he had any right to sit there questioning me.

"You've never treated me as an equal and you made the choice for me. That is something I cant forgive because if you don't consider me your equal who is to say you wont do something like this again. So don't tell me you love me." He tried to speak but I put my hand to let him know I'm not done. I needed to let him know how I feel. "You hurt me." His eyes were now filled with pain with my confession, but I was not done. "You hurt me every time you don't take my choices seriously. You hurt me every time you've rejected me. You hurt me. I love you but I'm in pain as if I'm holding my breath. Your like sand slipping through my finger tips because we are not equals. You have too much advantage in this relationship and the only way for us to be equals you've rejected. I can't continue feeling as if I can't hold on to you and you don't want to change me. If that's the case who are we fooling this is not going to last." I pointed between us. "I'm already eighteen and your seventeen. The clock is ticking for me. I'm going to get old and I'm going to die. You need grow up and stop making everything about yourself if you want to be in this relationship. Anyways," I paused scared to ask the question, but I needed to know the answer. "Would. Forever. With. Me. Be. That. Terrible?" My lip was trembling as I held my breath waiting for his reply.

...

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